Detective Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby of the Midsomer Constabulary has been dismissed following an inquiry into “shocking levels of incompetence” displayed during the investigation of murders committed within the region. The police authority found that Barnaby’s constant inability to provide protection to key witnesses had led to the region having one of the highest murder rates in the western world. ” When Baltimore and Washington DC started using Midsomer in their statistics for favourable comparisons, we knew we were in trouble. ” A spokesperson said. ” Everytime someone was murdered in one of these tiny villages, the murderer would proceed to murder other villagers. Every bleedin’ time! You’d think he’d have twigged it, and absolutely clamped down on the place. No, he’d spend more time rushing home for his tea, and then have to come back because, surprise, surprise, someone he had just spoken to had been murdered. They’re psychos in these villages, and any other cop would have figured that out.”
The only comparable spike in the murder rate occurred on the Channel Island of Jersey, where in a period during the 1980s, one in two people on the island were murdered. At one stage the only people on the island not to have been murdered were the police themselves and a rogueish millionaire named Charlie.