You know that scene in Superman II, where he splits into good Superman and evil Superman? That’s him. All the good stuff that the government does, giving grants to put roofs on schools and shoot the odd child-nibbling rat, that’s down to his personal intervention with the minister. All the bad stuff, like cutting spending and taxing pensioners, that’s nothing to do with him but something to do with some sort of government up in Dublin, run by some crowd of fellas who aren’t his sort of people at all. Except when they arrive in the constituency in a convoy of Mercs and he tugs the forelock and doffs the cap like an extra from “Downton Abbey”.
He’s also big into “the young people”. He’s for “the young people”. Except when it comes to protecting the pension entitlements of older public sector workers (and Oireachtas members) who actually vote in large numbers in byelections and Seanad elections. Then he’s for “the young people” as long as they don’t want anything that someone else wants.
And he’s a hard man too. He’ll “stand up to the IMF”, whatever that means. Well, what it actually means is that as he prostrates himself before them, begging for money to make up for all of our own money that we burned/pissed away/spent on Jimmy Choos, he’ll make sure that they know that he’s not grateful at all, at least, not whilst his constituents are watching. They won’t see the men from the IMF shift uncomfortably as he cries big chunky snots begging them for more money to pay the Guards to stop his constituents lynching him in the street when things really kick off.