SWAT team blows away Jessica Fletcher.

Sources in the Federal Bureau of Investigation have confirmed that murder mystery author and prolific serial killer Jessica Fletcher was gunned down by an FBI SWAT team early this morning.

Fletcher had been on a murder spree for most of the 1990s killing vague associates on a weekly basis, and then framing innocent suspects for the murder, having used her fame to gain access to police investigations and crucial evidence.

An unnamed FBI agent described the author’s motive:  ” JD FLletcher was only interested in two things. Her psychotic bloodlust, and dick. She would engage in wanton acts of depraved sex with most of her victims, filthy, filthy stuff.  Sometimes involving live stock and weird  mechanical sex devices. But during it all, the abandon, the debauchery, her hair never moved once.”

The next election is too good to waste on Fine Gael.

In 1993, in Canada, the Progressive Conservatives, the government, went into the general election with 151 seats out of 295 in the federal parliament, and came back with 2. Yes, 2. Now, in fairness, the Canadian electoral system is first past the post. It’s possibly the dumbest voting systems going if you have more than two parties, but it shattered Canadian politics for a decade. Are we heading that way?

Fianna Fail won’t be annihilated, because there are people who A) Don’t seem to understand that voting for Fianna Fail candidates gets you a Fianna Fail government, and B) will always vote Fianna Fail, although you do have to wonder what exactly would Fianna Fail have to do to not get these people’s votes? “Eh….that chopped up body was already here when I got here. And I don’t know who put those puppies in the microwave. And that MAY look like me on the CCTV with that bloodied knife but it isn’t.” But let’s be honest, Fianna Fail are now heading into what has been escalated this week from a very bad election result into a “They’ve blown up the Death Star? With the Emperor on-board? Really? ” moment. Continue reading