Lagarde: Look into my eyes...

The International Monetary Fund has proposed a radical solution to the international debt crisis by suggesting that the entire population of the planet be hypnotised into forgetting that it borrowed or lent trillions in dollars and euro.

IMF boss Christine Lagarde suggested that as the entire banking system is based for the most part not on real cash or assets but confidence, if a mass televised hypnotism programme was activated at the same time global banking and trading systems were reset to zero, the global economy could start from scratch.

Whilst explaining the details of the plan, codenamed “Operation Ctrl-alt-delete”, she also suggested that whilst we were at it, we could also do something about teenagers using the phrase “whatever!” and people who get emotionally attached to The X Factor contestants they’d never heard of a week before. Or people who put things like “You need to love yourself before you find love” on Twitter.