Sarkozy to allow voters to tweet policies into his manifesto.

Nuke Algeria? Invade les Rosbifs? Just tell my pollster!

Nuke Algeria? Invade les Rosbifs? Just tell my pollster!

The President of France, M. Nicolas Sarkozy, has continued his manic leaping up and down the political spectrum like a demented flea on Red Bull by pledging that voters may tweet policies directly into his manifesto. Addressing a rally in Toulouse under a giant banner proclaiming “Seriously, what’ll it take?”, Sarkozy declared that “it is not true, as my opponents allege, that I have no beliefs. I have always held firmly to one belief my entire life, and so have room for plenty of others, which I ask the French People to insert directly through Twitter. Let me be your vessel!” Sarkozy’s socialist opponent, M. Francois Hollande attacked Sarkozy for being as erratic as a balloon with the air escaping, and pointed out that, unlike the sitting president of the republic, he has very firm convictions on the future of France, including the restoration of the Year 1959, the nationalization of good hair so that it can be made into a human right for all, and the passing of a law to ban the losing of one’s car keys when one is in a rush to get the kids to school.