Jason OMahony - Irish political blogger, Irish politics, EU politics

An Occasional Guide to Irish Life: The Happily Single Woman.

Posted by Jason O on May 31, 2013 in Not quite serious.
She can buy her own Manolos, thank you very much.
She can buy her own Manolos, thank you very much.

It’s the sympathetic grimace and the tilt of the head to one side she can’t stand. The look from her (married) friends and older relatives, in response to her “No” to their  “So, is there anyone special at the moment?”. That pained “Don’t worry, it’ll happen” look in their eyes. Followed by the “You’re sure you’re not being too fussy? After all, you’re not getting any younger” look.

What they can’t, indeed refuse to understand, is that she could possibly be happy on her own. At her age! Sure, she’s got her own place, a good job, and a career, and goes on holidays to places that they just can’t get to what with the kids and everything, but still, she can’t possibly be happy!

What they can’t understand is that she has actually crossed over the tipping point, from being one of those women who thought that maybe a man could give her what she wanted to being a woman who balks at the sacrifices she’d now have to make. She’d have to change, and maybe not go to the hotel she wants to go to in Manhattan and maybe not see what she wants to see, and for what? Well, there’s the obvious, but she can get that anyway.

But she also gets the Saturday morning in bed reading and sauntering around the house in her Bananarama tee-shirt and doing her thing. If only someone would invent an escort service that does interior decorating, DIY and a bit of plumbing on the side. Put up them shelves, a bit of a giggle in the afternoon, and you can go now, “Nurse Jackie” is starting. Is that so much to ask?


Introducing the DailBot 2000.

Posted by Jason O on May 31, 2013 in Irish Politics, Not quite serious.

Now, from Oireachtas Industries: the DailBot 2000. Now preloaded with every automatic phrase it needs to be an Irish legislator, including:

“My position is well known on this matter.”
“No, I won’t repeat it. It is well known.”
“As I have said, it is well known.”
“This is a very complex issue.”
“I believe passionately in (insert platitude).”

“I didn’t interrupt you!”
“What we need is a full scale comprehensive review of this issue.”
“We need to be careful about coming to hasty conclusions.”
“I’m calling on (someone else) to carry out a full scale review.”
“We need an independent public inquiry into the review.”
“I would not like to comment on the finding of the public inquiry as it is now in front of the High Court.”
“I would not like to comment of the findings of the High Court as they are now in front of the Supreme Court”
“Given the findings of the Supreme Court into the findings of the public inquiry I believe we need to hold a full scale comprehensive review of public inquiries into reviews.”
“The original issue up for review should be discussed at an Oireachtas Committee meeting.”
“The report of the Oireachtas Committee should be submitted to the Cabinet for review.”
“The Cabinet should forward the report of the Oireachtas Committee to an expert group for review.”
“The report of the expert group should be submitted to the cabinet for review.”
“The government should publish the report of the expert group.”
“The Dail should debate the report of the expert group, and refer it to an Oireachtas Committee for review.”
“Yes, it is unfortunate that the Sun is about to burn out, ending life on Earth and thus meaning that this issue cannot be brought to a conclusion. That is a pity. But I think the real issue, which I hear a lot on the doorsteps, is the impact the end of human existence will have on local services, especially for young people and senior citizens and the more vulnerable sections of our society. This area in particular has always failed to get its fair share of resources. If you look at St. Malachy’s GAA club, for example, now, they have been waiting 14 months for a grant to fix a leak in the changing rooms…”

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