Jason OMahony - Irish political blogger, Irish politics, EU politics
 
2

Republicans demand that US Ebola victims only be cured of Ebola.

Posted by Jason O on Oct 2, 2014 in Not quite serious., US Politics

Rick PerryThe leadership of the US Republican Party has warned the Obama administration that it will not tolerate the recent potential outbreak of Ebola in Texas being used as an excuse to promote “socialist” medicine.

“We know how this works. The president and his communist cronies, after finishing their daily prayers to Allah, will tell federal medical officials to not only treat possible infected people for the Ebola virus, but any other illnesses they might have acquired previous to catching the virus,” J. McAdoo McAdoo III, the RNC spokesman, told reporters. “Suddenly, ordinary Americans who had been getting through life with untreated ailments get a little dose of Ebola and then socialism is the answer to everything. It’s very simple, you can go through life with an all-American open and weeping sore oozing puss, like our daddies did during the war, or you can find Big Government leaving you fit as a fiddle like some sort of Frenchman. Hell no!”

Texas governor Rick Perry has taken the lead on the matter. “I understand from medical advice that it is not really possible to treat Ebola and not cure other pre-existing illnesses. Now, before good God-fearing folk think I’ve turned into some sort of atheist homosexual or scientist, let me assure them that I have consulted scripture on this. That is why I have instructed the Texas Department of Health, having cured these people of Ebola, to inject them with a good old fashioned plague of the sort mentioned in the Bible. Then let them get that treated in any one of the many fine private sector medical practices available in this great state.”

President Obama responded to the GOP leadership by loudly banging his head repeatedly  on his desk in the Oval Office.

 
0

An Occasional Guide to EU Politics: The Surprised Commissioner.

Posted by Jason O on Oct 2, 2014 in An Occasional Guide to EU Politics, European Union

The irony was that he was never into the European thing at all. Sure, he gave the usual pro-EU lip service when he was in the national parliament, but it just didn’t really float his boat. Then he became a minister, just as his member state took over the presidency. This, he thought to himself, is gong to be an awful drag, chairing meetings, flying off to Brussels at some god awful hour.

But the strangest thing happened. He loved it. One thing that was always said about him, he was a people person, a deal maker. That was how he got ahead in the party at home, but now, out here, it all clicked into place. Haggling with the Austrian fella in the corner, leaning on the Belgian, sympathising with the Greek, doing a favour for the Portuguese guy on his pet thing on the agenda, he was in his element. And what’s more, the other guys and girls liked him too. He cut through the bullshit, got actual decisions made, and got everybody out before midnight most nights. One thing about him: he didn’t have airs or graces, and wasn’t above pointing out “Look lads, if you’re all going to repeat what someone else said will you just say I agree with what she said, so we can fucking move on!”.

When the presidency ended, he was sure. This was what he wanted, to be out here, doing the business. Of course, the money was good too, and with him and the wife having parted ways the parade of stunning parliamentary assistants and stagieres didn’t go unnoticed either. The prime minister owed him a stack of brownie points, mostly for beating the crap out of the PM’s enemies in the parliamentary party, and so, sure enough, he was sent on his way.

It’s a different life: no constituents, actually getting to bed at a reasonable hour, and within a few months he has his parliamentary committee eating out of his hand by treating them as his new constituents, taking them for coffee or something stronger, working out their pet issues, remembering birthdays and kid’s names (that stuns them), doing favours where he can. The grub’s good too, he notices as he needs to treat himself to a new suit (or three, sure, he can afford it) on Avenue Louise. This, he thinks as he lies in bed on Sunday morning with a German MEP and divorcee who looked at bit like Catherine Deneuve, whom he sparred with only a day ago over subsidies to something or another, is the way it should be.

Copyright © 2018 Jason O Mahony All rights reserved. Email: Jason@JasonOMahony.ie.