Jason OMahony - Irish political blogger, Irish politics, EU politics
 
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Things I’ve learnt from US TV drama.

Posted by Jason O on Mar 20, 2019 in Cult TV

1. You have to be professional model hot to be a female Assistant District Attorney.

2. It is the job of senior politicians to stick their jaws out and tell their juniors to “expedite” things.

3. No one who can grasp complicated scientific or technical concepts is allowed head an elite law enforcement unit. They have to demand other people “speak English” instead.

4. US intelligence and law enforcement agencies have legal standing everywhere in the world except Iran, Russia, Cuba and North Korea.

5. If a hero cuts corners, it’s ok. If some else cuts corners they’re not doing their damn job.

6. Sex between two beautiful people always makes the moon shine through the window.

7. If a working joe is decent and loves his family, his wife will always be at least two points higher on the hot scale than he is.

8. Every single piece of information in the world is just six key strokes away from US government employees.

9. People who threaten to “have your job” never manage to.

10. Americans don’t know that Christmas lasts longer than a single day.

11. Officials who say “The United States does not negotiate with terrorists” are alway wrong.

12. As are military or police leaders who never listen to the ordinary working cop/soldier on the ground.

13. Every terrorist has been on the hostage negotiation course, and has read the “Dealing with a hostage situation” manual.

14. Reciting someone’s CV to them in detail when you first meet them doesn’t make you sound clever. It makes you sound like a dick.

15. Every major company in America is run by either an asshole or a guy who worked his way up from the mailroom.

16. There are far, far more ex-Navy SEALS and ex-special forces people at work than there are people in the special forces of the world.

17. There seems to be some sort of system for allocating the title of “Hottest new restaurant/club in town”.

 
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An Occasional Guide to Irish Politics: The Scandal.

Posted by Jason O on Mar 20, 2019 in Irish Politics, Not quite serious.
Our elite legal system swings into action!

Our elite legal system swings into action!

A regular re-post, originally written in 2009…

Given the moral failings of the Irish as a race, it is hardly surprising that there is a clear and tested timeline to every scandal which besets Irish society, whether it is moral, political, social or financial. The timeline is as such:

1. Issue emerges. Country particularly mortified at how the British media cover it.

2. Public gasps at details. Sunday papers revel in particularly gory details. Fintan O’Toole writes a pithy piece which explains the cogent details very succinctly, and then drizzles it in extra-virgin head shaking like a nice salad.

3. Opposition call for unspecified action (“Something must be done! We need action!”) or specific action outside the power of the government. (“Bishops must resign! The effect on water of gravity must be reversed!”)

4. Government shakes heads, and promises that said event (Clerical child abuse/flooding/banking corruption/asteroid crashing into the Earth) must never be permitted to happen again, and calls for commission to investigate report of commission which investigated incident.

5. Media, political establishment, voters, realising that they actually play golf/went to school/are second cousin of individuals named in report, start calling for “due process” to be observed, and instead focus on details of events as if they were some abstract natural disaster.

6. The lawyers get involved. People’s right to “their good name”, passing of time, death of witnesses, gums up process of pursuit of actual criminals, drags investigations, trials, etc, in and out of high court for years.

7. Government takes money off people who did not commit these crimes (Taxes), and gives it to victims. The perpetrators contribution is eaten up in legal fees.

8. Some public officials take early retirement, on full pension. Which is pretty much the equivalent of a modest win in the National Lottery. Nobody goes to jail, except maybe a journalist who reveals how this thing is panning out, and is done for contempt of court.

9. In general election, Irish people vote for same people who allowed scandal to occur, on basis that although he/she failed to act to prevent sexual assault of children/building houses underwater, etc, he/she was always “very good for the area.”

10. In 10 years, another commission reports on poor handling of this scandal. Reset to step 1.

Copyright © 2019 Jason O Mahony All rights reserved. Email: Jason@JasonOMahony.ie.