25 things I have learnt as I’ve gotten older.

1. If you have a hole in your sock, throw out the pair. It’ll cause you less frustration in the future. No two black socks are the same black. NASA said so. Probably.

2. It is almost impossible to fall in love with someone who does not make you laugh. If you do, it is highly improbable that it will last.

3. It is, however, possible to fall in love with someone because of their vocabulary.

4. You start to appreciate really simple things, like a Cadbury’s Fruit and Nut and a good book.

5. Incredibly, time does actually speed up as you get older, and time management becomes very important. Use your alarm to prevent the day running away from you.

6. Set a single personal objective every day. It could be 30 minutes of a workout or 500 words of a novel. You will feel better once its done.

7. Don’t watch TV in bed. Read.

8. Don’t do “a big shop” for food, as it will spoil faster than you can eat it. Buy as you need it.

9. Set aside time for vegging, which is a pleasure in itself, like, say, watching “NCIS”, and do something productive until that time.

10. Simple foods can be reinvented. Lea and Perrins sauce in baked beans, anyone?

11. Salads can be both filling and tasty, with a bit of imagination.

12. Reducing the number of takeaways you eat actually makes them nicer.

13. Better to have just one proper fry a month, than four “healthy” ones.

14. Going to the cinema in the afternoon is much more enjoyable.

15. You dread people who don’t know you buying you presents, and filling your home with crap you don’t want.

16. You realise that money is a perfectly good wedding present, and the groom/bride will be perfectly happy even if they won’t admit it in public.

17. You stop being intimidated by policemen.

18. There actually are situations in your life where the phrase “if you love someone, set them free” applies.

19. Married people with children are not happier than you, just a different kind of happy.

20. Audiobooks are cool.

21. Much to the horror of your younger self, it is possible to like both old and new movies, music and TV shows.

22. You become more shocked at the deaths of celebrities as they get closer to your age group.

23. Older women are not actually in competition with younger women. They have a completely different type of sex appeal. I refer you to Birgitte Nyborg in “Borgen”.

24. You suddenly realise that you are actually in the middle of your life, and if there’s something you really want to do, you’d better get a move on. You are no longer waiting for life to start. It’s started.

25. Many of the people you watched on the TV as a kid, and were major stars to you, are not only dead, but forgotten.

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