The ghost of evil bigoted terrorist mastermind  Osama Bin Laden has endorsed former house speaker Newt Gingrich and former Gov. Sarah Palin for the Republican presidential nomination in 2012.

Speaking from hell, Bin Laden is quoted as saying: “I have spent a lifetime trying to convince young Muslims that the United States is prejudiced against  Islam. Then they go and elect Obama, a man who has some actual knowledge of Islam, and treat Muslim soldiers in the US army as equals. They even have a Muslim in Congress! This is what I’m up against, so I really appreciate Newt and Sarah stirring up bigotry over the Islamic Centre two blocks from Ground Zero. Seriously, I could not have written it better myself, well, other than “We surrender, Praise Allah!” But now I can go to young American Muslims fighting the Taliban in Afghanistan, who laud the US, and go “In your face, over here, working for the honky man!”. If I’m not trying to raise money to put Newt and Sarah into the White House in 2012, then my uncle’s a rabbi! It’s not as much a donation as an investment. Anyone see any virgins down here?”

The Gingrich/Palin approach to the proposed centre, thus ensuring that US Muslims know their place, is part of a radical new Republican approach to hot button issues the GOP hopes to showcase in the November midterm elections. Another issue is that of attitudes towards homosexuality, where Republican members of congress and formers chairs of the RNC are having gay sex regularly so as to be able to lecture family values voters on the evils of a hot gay banging with a buff intern named Chad. Repeatedly.