An Occasional Guide to Irish Politics: The Fianna Fail Activist.

From Warsaw, you say? Sure I knew you father well. Any chance of the scratch?

Curiously for a member of the largest party in the country, the Fianna Fail activist isn’t interested in politics. Not in the academic sense. To him, you’re either in or out, winning or losing, and all that other stuff is for schmarter fellas than him. Politics is about people, in that you help, or get helped by your own, and you shaft the others, putting the bastards into the ground for the good of the country. And that’s the running mate’s people we’re talking about. Never mind the Fine Gael and the Labour and all them others, the fact is, there’s a single Fianna Fail seat in every constituency in the country, and the biggest threat to your fella getting it is that other robbing tinker who packed the convention to get on the ticket and shafted the deputy’s cousin who’s a lovely girl and should have got a run out at least to give her a heads up for the locals!

            He does have principles. He’s all for a united Ireland, especially at closing time, and he was against contraception and divorce and the gays and the cutbacks until he was told he was in favour of them. He won’t have a bad word said against Charlie, on account of him shaking his hand as he walked by the activist when he was waiting 9 hours in A&E with that heart murmur. He doesn’t remember seeing Charlie waiting that long, or even sitting down in A&E, but still. A Man of the People to be sure. Sure didn’t he keep waving even when that man collapsed after those two drunks started fighting with the drug addict? And the single nurse started screaming for help? Charlie kept waving, regardless of how fast his car was speeding away, God bless him

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