Jason OMahony - Irish political blogger, Irish politics, EU politics
 

An Occasional Guide to Irish Politics: The Nationalist Nutjob.

Posted by Jason O on Feb 24, 2011 in Election 2011, Irish Politics, Not quite serious. |

He says his middle name is Pearse, after you-know-who. It's actually Nigel.

He says his middle name is Pearse, after you-know-who. It's actually Nigel.

Everything, everything, is an imperialist conspiracy. God love him, but it would break his heart if he learnt the truth: That the Brits probably regret ever getting mixed up with Ireland, and would pull out in a heartbeat if they could figure out a face-saving way of doing it. Everything is “Cromwell this, Kevin Barry that” to the extent that if he gets a bad kebab at 2am on Dame Street, he proclaims “Is this what the men of 1916 died for?” He will never be happy. If the Queen was guillotined on College Green to a huge crowd, he’d slam the Brits “and their Queen” for causing traffic congestion.

Everyone is a sellout, from Fianna Fail to Sinn Fein, and he uses his own vocabulary that makes him sound like a 19th century pickpocket. The Gardai are “the Peelers” or “the Free State constabulary”. The Provos are ” the Army”. He only buys Irish clothes, which means that he dresses like an extra from “The Field” and drinks whiskey neat, where he then launches into tirades about 800 years during which he chides all around him for having “John Bull’s hand around your bollocks!” He can be seen in various Dublin pubs, with vomit down the front of his hairy jumper,  demanding that Lily Allen be replaced by “the tones.” and that the bartender is obviously “in the pay of the crown”.   

To his mortal shame, his dad is English, and his grandfather died at the Somme. And not fighting for the Germans, either.

2 Comments

david morris
Jan 6, 2010 at 5:13 pm

Cracking post. bettered perhaps by concluding

“dad is English, & both his grandfathers fought for the Crown in The Great War”.

All the best to you & yours for 2010


 
Jason O
Jan 7, 2010 at 7:53 am

Oooh, nice one. Will amend accordingly. A happy 2010 to you too.


 

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