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An Occasional Guide to Irish Politics: The surprisingly cold candidate.

Posted by Jason O on Jan 30, 2011 in Election 2011, Irish Politics, Not quite serious. |

Icy icy baby!

Icy icy baby!

On paper, she’s electoral gold. She’s pretty, young and well-educated. She looks great on a poster and even better in real life, bringing that X factor to politics. Except she doesn’t. When you meet her, she smiles at you and shakes your hand and affects to listen to you, yet you can’t help notice that the smile has all the warmth of an open fridge full of fish fingers. In fact, you can’t help feeling that the smile is like that of some sort of alien doppelganger, like someone who has only learnt how to smile late in life and is trying to copy someone else a little too hard.

Her earnest look is betrayed by that flicker as you talk to her, that millisecond when she looks over your shoulder to identify her next port of call. Yet the smile remains rigid, even though you know she’s not listening. And there’s the test right there: If you were to suddenly say to her “My mickey is unusually heavy. Would you like to see?” She’d keep smiling, her brain miles away, whereas a really good and forthright candidate would at least ask: “Fair enough. Will it increase the chance of me getting a number one?”

5 Comments

michelle
Jul 29, 2010 at 8:34 am

who?! someone in my constituency?


 
Adam
Jul 29, 2010 at 10:01 pm

And she told Enda where to go last week!

I’ll get my coat!


 
Jason O
Jul 30, 2010 at 7:09 am

Curiously, that’s not who I’m thinking of.


 
Peter
Jan 31, 2011 at 8:08 pm

Averil Power?


 
Jason O
Feb 1, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Certainly not. Averil is actually one of the warmest politicians I’ve ever met, actually.


 

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