A number of western intelligence agencies have admitted that they have been responsible for the funding of long winded socialist ideology documents and conferences.

An unnamed CIA operative admitted yesterday: “We came to the conclusion very quickly that rather than attempt to break up the hard left organisations, it made more sense to actually fund every headbanger faction within them. To be quite honest, we’re amazed we’ve managed to get away with it this long. These guys spend far more time writing desperately long tracts denouncing each other as bourgeois middle class Kerenskyist sellouts then they ever do trying to over throw the free enterprise state. What is amazing is that they have never noticed. Some of them have spent their whole lives in far left politics, and it doesn’t seem to dawn on them that they have achieved absolutely nothing. If anything, the world is even more right wing now. Western free market democracy saved for the cost of a desktop publishing package and a half decent commercial printer. Not bad, eh?”

The security services hope to extend the tactic to the far right and Islamist organisations. An MI5 source remarked: ” Already, the BNP and the National Front are at each others throats, and we’ve got Sunni and Shia extremists issuing fatwas on each other like billio. Funny story: At a recent meeting of a key BNP committee we realised that every single member was an MI5 agent. How we laughed!”