Jason OMahony - Irish political blogger, Irish politics, EU politics
 

Coming soon to Fox: Jesus Christ, FBI.

Posted by Jason O on Apr 12, 2011 in Not quite serious. |

The Son of God is back! And this time, he's taking on the bad guys!

The Son of God is back! And this time, he's taking on the bad guys!

Coming soon on Fox: Mike Steel (Played by 24′s Kiefer Sutherland) is a veteran FBI agent who plays by his own rules, wisecracking with his ex-wife whom he still loves and bringing up their precocious teenage daughter Lisa (played by Seventh Heaven’s Jessica Biel). Now he’s got a new partner: Jesus Christ (My Name is Earl’s Jason Lee), son of God, and together, they’re going to take on the terrorists and the drug-dealers!

Cut to scene:

Mike and Jesus are sitting in a car outside a crack house:

Mike: Right, back up’s too far away. We’re going in. You take the back, Jesus.

Jesus: Gotcha. The meek are going take these suckers down (pumps shotgun).

Cut to scene:

Mike’s forgotten to arrange food for his daughter’s birthday party:

Lisa (wearing a very skimpy bikini): Daddy, everyone’s so hungry!

Jesus enters the kitchen with a very small McDonald’s bag. The logo is clearly pointed at the camera.

Jesus: Filet o’ Fish, anyone?

Mike: Jesus, there are over 40 people at this party!

Jesus winks at Mike:

Jesus: Got it covered, man!

Lisa hugs Jesus.

Lisa: I love you, Jesus.

She puts her hand on Jesus’s well-developed chest, and gives him a knowing look.

Jesus: I love you too, Lisa.

Mike glares overs at Jesus, who gives Mike a “What?” grimace.

Cut to scene:

Mike is tied to a chair. The Devil (played by former Vice President Al Gore) is lecturing him.

The Devil: When I’m finished, same-sex marriage will be compulsory! And inter-racial! It’ll be traditional marriage that will be illegal!

Suddenly, the window shatters, and Jesus comes in, hits the ground, rolls,       and comes up with his shotgun.

Jesus: Hey Satan! Climate change this!

Blows Satan away.

Jesus Christ, FBI. Only on Fox. 

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