Irish presidential candidate Dana Rosemary Scallon has confirmed that if elected president of Ireland next month she will refuse to kneel before General Zod or any other extra-terrestial conqueror. Speaking on The Late Late Show, the former MEP said: “Not only have I refused to sign a European Constitution into law, but I will also refuse to bow before aliens like General Zod made the American President do in Superman II.”
Fine Gael candidate Gay Mitchell expressed a willingness to to lead Earth forces in a last desperate attack against giant alien spacecraft as portrayed in “Independence Day”, although he did stress that he’d wait until the alien ship was over some other country, or at least a large ghost estate. “I think it’s fair to say that Ireland’s mortgage holders have enough problems without a giant alien vehicle crashing into their houses and further deflating house prices.”
Fianna Fail TD Niall Collins attacked the government for not having a plan to fight alien invasion.
FF deputy leader Eamonn O’Cuiv demanded that people look at him, and remember that his very existence was due to the fact that Eamonn De Valera once had an orgasm.