Sources in the Dept. of Justice have said that the fact that only six ASBOs have been issued is to be welcomed, as it means that the state is not criminalising young people for, eh, committing crimes.
A spokesperson said: ” We’re delighted with this new approach, and look forward to expanding it, I mean, just imagine the effect a murder trial has on an accused murderer’s self esteem. Is it right that every one is “sitting in judgement” of this person? Who are they to judge, aside from the fact that they weren’t covered from head to toe in the blood of their wife whom they beat to death with an Argos toaster? But, still.”
The DOJ has recently advised the Garda Emergency Response Unit not to open fire on armed criminals as it may traumatise them with Iraq-style Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. ” In fact,” A spokesperson said. ” It would be ideal if the odd Garda could let themselves get shot by armed criminals. The self confidence boost that would give to the armed criminal would be enormous!”