Following much controversy about the appointment of a high-profile “traffic stopping” candidate such as Tony Blair to the new position of President of the European Council, speculation in Brussels is now that “some guy off the street” will be appointed to the job, according to unnamed sources.
The sources have said: ” We’ve been getting a lot of stick lately for being out of touch with ordinary Europeans, so we’ve now decided to just get some guy.” Candidates include a fella seen hanging around the bins near the Berlaymont, the woman who delivers sandwiches to the parliament or maybe just some surprised Belgian we pick out of the Etterbeek telephone directory. Also, having an amusing name would help, like President Smallcock or President Rumpypumpy. That’s the favourite at the moment, although I wouldn’t rule out Rock-Paper-Scissors as a decider. Best of three, obviously. We don’t want the process to look random or ridiculous.”