Former Speaker and adulterer Newt Gingrich took time off today from lecturing on family values to announce that he would seek to agree an Adultery Exchange Programme with France if he were elected President of the United States.
“I’m not Mitt Romney. I don’t speak French as well as him, even though I did live in France for a while. But there are areas where I am indeed more French than Mitt Romney. Take marriage vows, for example. Romney is like Obama and Clinton and Carter, still married to the same woman, whereas I’m more of a Domnique Strauss Kahn kind of guy when it comes to the ladies. I’m committed to family values, sure, but for other people, not me. Hey, check out the tail on that fine piece!”