Jason OMahony - Irish political blogger, Irish politics, EU politics
 

In farewell address, Pres. Bush declares “other Americans” to be biggest threat to Americans.

Posted by Jason O on Jan 19, 2009 in Not quite serious. |

And that's a wrap! President Bush today announced that he was downgrading Al Quaeda into second place on the National Threat Watchlist, and moving Americans into the number one slot.

“ The figures speak for themselves. Americans are far more likely to lose their lives at the hands of other Americans than at the hands of terrorists. Therefore, I want to warn other Americans that the US Government will retaliate with force and the wrath of God against them if they harm Americans.”

The president went on to point out his belief that the Obama administration should carry out air-strikes against the single largest group or organisation responsible for killing Americans, and, most tellingly, should not rule out a possible invasion of America if Americans kept being killed.

Prime Minister Gordon Brown, visiting on a farewell tour, agreed with the president, remarking that “As a country that has seen substantial numbers of troops killed by Americans, we will enthusiastically support what ever measure we are told to enthusiastically support. Eh, if that’s okay with you, sir. ”

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