Sources in the Federal Bureau of Investigation have confirmed that murder mystery author and prolific serial killer Jessica Fletcher was gunned down by an FBI SWAT team early this morning.

Fletcher had been on a murder spree for most of the 1990s killing vague associates on a weekly basis, and then framing innocent suspects for the murder, having used her fame to gain access to police investigations and crucial evidence.

An unnamed FBI agent described the author’s motive:  ” JD FLletcher was only interested in two things. Her psychotic bloodlust, and dick. She would engage in wanton acts of depraved sex with most of her victims, filthy, filthy stuff.  Sometimes involving live stock and weird  mechanical sex devices. But during it all, the abandon, the debauchery, her hair never moved once.”