The 7 Great Myths of Irish Society.

Do as we say, not as we do.

Do as we say, not as we do.

They keep turning up, those little statements of “conventional wisdom” by which we are supposed to run our society. You hear them everywhere, in pubs, on the telly, and most of all, from the mouths of people wanting to protect whatever vested interest they happen to be a part of.

1. Wealth is a natural occurring phenomenon. It occurs regardless of anyone actually working or taking entrepeneurial risk. Unlike in other coutries, where wealth is created by people thinking up things that other people may wish to pay for, in Ireland wealth is just “there.”

2. Because wealth is just “there”, it is only fair that it should be shared out. The fact that many of the people who did not “gain” from the Celtic Tiger did nothing to help create it is not the point. They should get their “fair” share.

3. People should always be put before money. Always. Except where this involves anyone who receives money from other taxpayers or taxpayers being asked to contribute to the funds that allow additional expenditure on people instead of cuts. That money should be put before people, who can go to hell, the bastards.   

4. The vested interests run the country. They are ruining the country for ordinary publicans, public sector workers, doctors, nurses, teachers, ESB workers, Dublin Bus drivers, Gardai, farmers, the arts community, the legal profession, taxi drivers, etc.

5. If only the ordinary people could be listened to. If only those two million voters who sneak into the country on polling day and vote to elect awful politicians and then sneak out again would stop doing that, and just let the ordinary people vote.

6. Sure doesn’t the rest of the World love us? Why wouldn’t they? Telling Estonians that they’re morally inferior because they joined NATO to stop their wives and daughters being raped by Russian soldiers. Or lecturing the British for generating the nuclear powered electricity that we buy off them. Or making sure that our daughters can get abortions whilst wagging the finger at those abortionists in the EU. Or kicking out illegals whilst demanding that our own illegals in the US be given special treatment. Or opposing the arms trade whilst flogging products to every scumbag dictatorship in the world. Or condemning the war in Iraq whilst selling bodhrans to US troops going through Shannon. Sure, why wouldn’t they love us?    

7. We are, as a nation, cleverer than other nations. Managing to be as two-faced as we are (See point 6.) just shows how cute and cunning we are. The fact that “honour” is not a word heard much in Irish society says reams about us. That more serious nations just tolerate us whilst shaking their heads quietly to themselves is a fact lost to us, because we are so cute.

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