Voldemort declares war on “evil” ISIS.

Voldemort, the dark wizard, has announced that he is declaring war on the fanatical extremists of ISIS. A spokeswizard said: “These people aren’t just, you know, baddies like me. They’re a disease, a cancer on the planet, a death cult that actually threatens normality. If NATO or China or anyone else isn’t going to step up, then I guess I’ll have to assemble an international coalition to do the job. I’ve spoken to the Daleks, who are onboard, and the Joker in Gotham City who has expressed serious concerns about their mental health. We’re currently working on reviving Stalin to help too. He’s great at motivating people, a real go-getter. Ayatollah Khomeini is coming back too. He said to me yesterday that “someone has to deal with these religious nutjobs!”

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