Fianna Fail candidate Lord Voldemort has welcomed the result in the Dublin West byelection, taking plaudits from Fianna Fail supporters who chanted “We’re back! We’re back!” at the election count yesterday. “This is a great day for our movement, whom so many had thought destroyed after the titanic struggle earlier this year which wrenched us from power and destroyed our regime. Yes, we have learned today that deep in the shadows our forces continue to gather, and plot our return to our rightful place ruling over this land and grinding our opponents under our heel. Onward, soldiers, to our destiny!” Voldemort also pledged to defeat the newly-elected President Dobby the Elf.
Fine Gael have responded to their poor performance in both the presidential and byelections by pointing out that the party has stuck firmly to its principles. “We are a party of traditions, and we have stood firmly by that principle. Admittedly, the tradition is one of losing elections, but it’s a tradition all the same.”