What’s wrong with this picture?

Here’s a wheeze, you know, for a laugh. Supposing we got rid of all our political parties. ALL of them. And started up brand new parties. What sort of parties would naturally emerge, and who would vote for them?

The Centre Party: Made up of careerist thieves who want to be in politics because it pays well and gives an opportunity to steal. Primarily former FF or FG people who regard The Economist as a bit fancy, and aren’t that interested in politics. Elected by people who vote for someone because they’re “a lovely man from the area” even as he’s making his secretary, pregnant with their child, have an abortion. Strong rural base.

The Social Justice Party: Mostly Labour, Public Sector trades union activists, and NGO types. Elected by people who make their living spending other people’s taxes, through either pay or welfare payments.

The Free Democrats: Pro-Business. Low Tax. Tough on Law and Order. Supported by businessmen, large and small, and the professional classes. 

Ireland First: Traditionalist. Pro-Irish language. Pro-high spending on social issues. Anti-immigration. Anti-EU. Elected by a mixture of the old and by embittered sections of the working class.   

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