Life in the Constitutional States of America.

There had been initial celebrations in the CSA congratulating themselves on their “escape from socialism”, and the europeanisation of some of the blue states confirmed it, especially as the Federal Health Service opened its doors, and strict gun control was applied to all but sporting and small handguns, and even they were regulated. President Cruz was elected with a solid majority defeating what was at best a token Democratic opponent and proceeded to enact the dream list of conservative and right wing legislative goals. Abortion was all but outlawed, as was all gun control, most employment legislation, and equality legislation. A flat tax replaced almost all other taxation. Christianity (with a recognition towards Judaism) was recognized as the official religion of the CSA. Work began almost immediately on an actual wall to seal off Mexico except at limited legal crossing points, and the CSA Army was deployed to enforce a kill zone along the border. Cruz had promised that a thousand illegal immigrants would be literally carried to the border and released each week, adding that he could make the promise because “it’s not like we have a shortage of illegals”.

The problems started about 18 months in. Cruz slowly began to realize that he was, by the standards of the CSA, on the centre-left now, as more and more extreme positions were espoused by the far-right as they tried to win over the base in what was now a de facto one-party state. A bill to make the Confederate flag the official flag of the nation, along with bills to build new Confederate statues specifically in majority black areas were vetoed by Cruz out of genuine alarm, and he was shocked at the speed at which the fake news hysterics turned on him. #LiberalTed and #ImpeachTedOcasioCortez (something which made Prime Minister Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez of the FSA laugh openly) trended very quickly, with ConNews, the number one news channel, giving a lot of airtime to critics of Cruz and speculating what kind of name was “Cruz” anyway? It wasn’t long before a caucus in the CS Congress were moving a bill to impeach Cruz on the grounds of his being born in Canada, and that he can’t “be expected to know what a real American thinks”.

The economy of the CSA, made up of former US states that had tended to be subsidized by the more populous states, was now in serious difficulty. Older white citizens, including many who had moved from the “United Socialist States of Alexandra!” after the division came with the same expectations of federal subsidized pensions and healthcare, and they voted. Coupled with an international boycott by companies and consumers of the CSA, Cruz found himself in a perfect storm of a shrinking economy and a Congress that refused to cut spending on the military or the wall or senior citizens expenditure but insisted on cutting taxes. Nor was it helped that the CSA constitution had been written by a group of hard right small government types who put a balanced budget obligation into it. The new constitution also gave states vetoes over sending their tax revenue to the central government, and so a huge deficit opened up between the services elderly voters wanted and the taxes they were willing to pay for them. The CSA was literally running out of money yet couldn’t borrow on the bond markets because of the balanced budget clause.

Cruz’s advisors proposed a “temporary” solution: that the CSA Reserve print additional money. The FSA (which contained, pre-division, the great majority of America’s wealth producing centres) warned that it would not tolerate such an action, and if so would immediately switch to a separate digital currency, abandoning the shared US dollar. Instead, the Cruz administration proposed a parallel dual digital currency called Freedom Dollars, which could be issued instead. The Congress grudgingly passed the bill in the face of swinging cuts to spending (tax rises were simply not an option).

As it happened, Freedom Dollars turned out to be a misnomer, as most private businesses refused to accept them and those that did insisted on a hugely inflated exchange rate to the US dollar given the risk and lack of convertibility with foreign currencies (except for the United Kingdom of England & Wales). The administration warned that it would prosecute businesses that refused to accept them, and it was that threat that had led to huge crowds gathering to protest, stirred on by ConNews presenters advocating the “simply solution of the return to gold currency”. Suggestions that Cruz was in the pocket of “international finance and we all know what that means” were casually thrown around the CSA media, with his surname and birthplace once again a source of deep concern.

The senior citizens now angry that their Freedom Dollars were useless latched on to the latest wheeze, demanding gold coinage. Their desperation increased as many retirement homes refused to accept the dual currency, and demanded settlement of their accounts in US dollars or other major currencies. Many seniors attempted to return to their former states in the north but found that the strict border controls the CSA had insisted upon to stop immigrants “freeloading” in the CSA now applied to them when they tried to leave.

Somehow, the elites had tricked them, that was the problem. #LyingTed was the problem, one of the elite and he needed to go. He was somehow in league with those socialists in Boston (the FSA capital) and the Chinese. It had to be true: they were saying it on ConNews (a division of Amazon). Soon hundreds of thousands of seniors, many armed, were joining the angry unemployed (also armed: everybody was heavily armed in the CSA) and shouting at the New White House.

When an older blonde mounted the stage she declared that the late president’s dream of a Great America Again had been betrayed by Cruz and the others, and soon the crowd were chanting “give us our gold!”

“We’ve no fucking gold!” the president roared at the TV just as the gunfire erupted, and the heavily armed crowd (including congressmen) moved on the New White House. The bodyguards started fighting among themselves, some siding with the crowd which was hardly surprising given that ConNews was on in the building 24/7. Those agents who remained loyal managed to get the president to a helicopter which clear the building just as Vice President Rubio was pulled into the angry mob just as he screamed “Wait! Wait! I share your many concerns!” before vanishing in a sea of fists, kicks and rifle butts.

The helicopter landed 20 minutes later on the aircraft carrier USS Barack Obama, but before he could get off an official stopped him.

“I am a United States citizen!” Cruz bellowed indignantly.

“I’m sorry sir, but acting president Greene has issued a warrant for your arrest, and as you know, national citizenship trumps US citizenship. It’s in the Cruz Act.”

An NBC camera crew, on the ship making a documentary, just happened to be onboard for this historic movement.

“I want safe passage to the FSA,” Cruz said awkwardly, trying to avoid direct eye contact with the camera.

“Sir, under FSA law, I need you to be clear. You have to make this declaration.”

He handed a card to the president, who read it.

“I’m not saying this!” He bellowed.

“Then sir, you are not claiming asylum under the Harris Act and I am obliged to return you to the CSA.”

“Alright, alright!” Cruz said, and held up the card.

“I, Ted….”

“Full name please.”

“I, Rafael Edward Cruz, do hereby claim asylum under the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights.”

The cameraman closed up on his face.

The camera cut away to members of the Cruz administration being executed by the crowd on the lawn of the New White House, as a ConNews presenter seemed to have an orgasm live on air.

The end.





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