I’ve recently purchased a new Remington beard trimmer, and am mighty impressed. Being a facial hair aficionado, I tend to get asked many a query. “Jason,” They ask, “You who has such a fine crop of chin hair, should I consider it too?” Usually, the query is not as much about a beard as about the possibility of a moustache, and it is here that I choose to reveal to my female readers ( And yes, amazingly I do actually have them.) one of the great secrets of late 20th Century Man:

Tom Selleck’s moustache. There. I’ve said it. The fact is, when a man thinks of growing a moustache, he thinks he will look like Tom Selleck in Magnum P.I.
Here’s the sad thing. We never do, because Tom Selleck is a fine looking man whose moustache added to his charm, whilst most of us are just fat blokes with a ronnie. It is, my friends, one of the sad facts of the universe.

Incidentally, I am also asked as to the beard’s effect on “the ladies.” Yes, I’m not joking, that was the phrase used, and in that certain tone too. In my experience, the answer is this: the great majority of women hate beards. You have been warned, gentlemen.  

By the way, if you are new to beards, a couple of pointers. You’ll need a little scissors for trimming hair to stop it hanging over your top lip. Also, you’ll buy a trimmer with great gusto and then become very nervous about using it because you’ll be afraid of accidentally shaving a chunk of your new appendage off. Fret not. Just set the trimmer to the highest setting (longest hair length) and give it a whirl. You’ll find by gradually working down the settings (get a trimmer with plenty of choices. Mine has nine.) you’ll find the depth of trim you want. But a warning: DO NOT GET OVER CONFIDENT. Remember, you can’t reverse a shave. When you reach the length you’re happy with, resist the urge to fiddle by notching down another setting. And occasionally, get it done professionally: it looks and feels great, and you’ll get tips watching the barber. Just remember to tell him how much you actually want off.

As to ideal lengths, it’s a matter of taste. I like a tight beard. Another chap I know, in a very stuffy profession, likes a Charles Stewart Parnell. All a matter of taste. Same with the finish around the neck. Some like a natural let-it-grow finish, others a “marked” trim, that is, a neat line.